Baseball enthusiast BobLoblaw75 always ensures he gets the best seats by buying the cheapest possible tickets and checking out the premium seats that are still on sale an hour before leaving for the game. He then makes a note of the section, row and seat number and once he gets to the ground, he asks an usher where a particular section is before they look at his ticket. A lot people have digital tickets on the phone so its not unusual. Diggeriodo added another version of this trick 'for the less charismatic',. Torvaun had a range of unethical life hacks that he was eager to share, including having a spare mobile phone number to put down on job applications so you can 'use yourself as a reference'.
He added: 'If you want to sound sick when calling in to your work, lie on your back while hanging your head over the edge of the bed. You will sound congested. He also suggested chatting up 'the hottest woman' in a crowded bar when you can't get a seat. Another of his tricks is to leave your car in a paid car park for a week and then pretend you've lost your ticket. The ticket machine usually has a 'lost ticket' option, which charges you the maximum daily fee - meaning you get the rest of the week free.
Anyone looking to take a sneaky extended break from their desk may want to follow Dragonboy's advice to invest in a decoy wallet. Omny87 suggested a rather elaborate way to get a meal from a nice restaurant for free by pretending to propose to your girlfriend or wife. A baseball enthusiast alsways buys the cheapest possible tickets and blags his way into the best seats, which he's checked have not been sold, once he gets to the game stock image. Dejected, you sit there pawing at your food for the next half hour, ordering more wine,' he said.
You now have two fancy meals to take home. Officially, inmates are only allowed to keep money in special prison-operated accounts that can be used at the canteen. Their families can also deposit money in the accounts. The prepaid cash cards Willis is referring to are called Green Dots, and they are the currency of the illicit prison economy.
Connections on the outside buy them online, then pass on the account numbers in encoded messages through the mail or during visits. Inmates with contraband cellphones can do all these transactions themselves, buying the cards and handing out strips of paper as payments for drugs or phones or whatever else.
Miss Stirling divulges that an inmate gave her the digits of a money card as a Christmas gift. I need a new MK watch. I need a new purse. I need some new jeans. I just keep it in the open. Tucker tells us to follow him. We shake down tiers all morning. By the time we finish at 11, everyone is exhausted. Christian pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and reads off a string of numbers in a show-offy way.
Christian hands the slip of paper to one of the cadets, a middle-aged white woman. The metal door clicks open and we enter to a cacophony of shouting and pounding on metal. An alarm is sounding and the air smells strongly of smoke. On one wall is a mural of a prison nestled among dark mountains and shrouded in storm clouds, lightning striking the guard towers and an enormous, screeching bald eagle descending with a giant pair of handcuffs in its talons.
Toward the end of a long hall of cells, an officer in a black SWAT-style uniform stands ready with a pepper-ball gun. Another man in black is pulling burnt parts of a mattress out of a cell. Cypress can hold up to inmates; most of the eight-by-eight-foot cells have two prisoners in them. The cells look like tombs; men lie in their bunks, wrapped in blankets, staring at the walls. Many are lit only by the light from the hallway. In one, an inmate is washing his clothes in his toilet. He grips my hand. SORT teams are trained to suppress riots, rescue hostages, extract inmates from their cells, and neutralize violent prisoners.
I get a whiff of feces that quickly becomes overpowering. On one of the tiers, a brown liquid oozes out of a bottle on the floor. Food, wads of paper, and garbage are all over the ground. I spot a Coke can, charred black, with a piece of cloth sticking out of it like a fuse. No rec time. We just sit in our cells all day. What else are we going to do? You know how we get these officers to respect us?
Either that or throw them to the floor. Then they respect us. I ask one of the regular white-shirted COs what an average day in seg looks like. They are supposed to walk up and down the eight tiers every 30 minutes to check on the inmates, but he says they never do that. CCA says it had no knowledge of guards at Winn skipping security checks before I inquired about it. Collinsworth is walking around with a big smile on his face. The sound explodes down the cement hallway.
Collinsworth and the CO he is shadowing move another inmate from his cell. The inmate tries to walk ahead as the CO holds him. I take a few inmates out of their cells, too, walking each one a hundred feet or so to disciplinary court with my hand around one of his elbows. One pulls against my grip. A SORT officer rushes over and grabs him. My heart races. Mother Jones is a nonprofit. Your support allows us to go where others in the media do not: Make a tax-deductible monthly or one-time gift.
One of the white-shirted officers takes me aside. If he keeps going, we are authorized to knee him in the back of the leg and drop him to the concrete. Inmates shout at me as I walk back down the tier. I like them holes in your ears, CO. Come in here with me. Give me that booty! At lunchtime, Collinsworth, Reynolds, and I go back to the training room.
Your support allows us to go where others in the media do not: Make a tax-deductible donation today. That we are scraping the bottom of the barrel. I actually took their pictures and fingerprinted them. There is much about the history of CCA the video does not teach. The idea of privatizing prisons originated in the early s with Beasley and fellow businessman Doctor Robert Crants. The year after Hutto joined CCA, he became the head of the American Correctional Association, the largest prison association in the world. Beasley and Crants ran the business a lot like a hotel chain, charging the government a daily rate for each inmate.
The s were a good time to get into the incarceration business. The prison population was skyrocketing, the drug war was heating up, the length of sentences was increasing, and states were starting to mandate that prisoners serve at least 85 percent of their terms. Prisons in many states were filled beyond capacity.
The bid was unsuccessful, but it planted an idea in the minds of politicians across the country: They could outsource prison management and save money in the process. Privatization also gave states a way to quickly expand their prison systems without taking on new debt. In the perfect marriage of fiscal and tough-on-crime conservatism, the companies would fund and construct new lockups while the courts would keep them full.
Today, it runs more than 60 facilities, from state prisons and jails to federal immigration detention centers. All together, CCA houses at least 66, inmates at any given time. Whatever taxpayer money CCA receives has to cover the cost of housing, feeding, and rehabilitating inmates. Two-thirds of the private-prison contracts recently reviewed by the anti-privatization group In the Public Interest had these prisoner quotas.
The main argument in favor of private prisons—that they save taxpayers money—remains controversial. One study estimated that private prisons cost 15 percent less than public ones; another found that public prisons were 14 percent cheaper. The pressure to squeeze the most out of every penny at Winn seems evident not only in our paychecks, but in decisions that keep staffing and staff-intensive programming for inmates at the barest of levels.
Two weeks after I start training, Chase Cortez his real name decides he has had enough of Winn. But in the middle of a cool, sunny December day, he climbs onto the roof of Birch unit. He lies down and waits for the patrol vehicle to pass along the perimeter. Now, a single CO watches the video feeds from at least 30 cameras.
Cortez sees the patrol van pass, jumps down from the back side of the building, climbs the razor-wire perimeter fence, and then makes a run for the forest. He fumbles through the dense foliage until he spots a white pickup truck left by a hunter. Lucky for him, it is unlocked, with the key in the ignition. In the control room, an alarm sounds, indicating that someone has touched the outer fence, a possible sign of a perimeter breach.
The officer reaches over, switches the alarm off, and goes back to whatever she was doing. She notices nothing on the video screen, and she does not review the footage. Hours pass before the staff realizes someone is missing. Some guards tell me it was an inmate who finally brought the escape to their attention. Cortez is caught that evening after the sheriff chases him and he crashes the truck into a fence. When I come in the next morning, the prison is on lockdown. Staff are worried CCA is going to lose its contract with Louisiana. CCA said nothing publicly about the escape; I heard about it from guards who had investigated the incident or been briefed by the warden.
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Later that day, Reynolds and I bring food to Cypress, the segregation unit. A naked man is shouting frantically for food, mercilessly slapping the plexiglass at the front of his cell. In the cell next to him, a small, wiry man is squatting on the floor in his underwear. His arms and face are scraped with little cuts. A guard tells me to watch him. It is Cortez. I offer him a packet of Kool-Aid in a foam cup.
He says thank you, then asks if I will put water in it. There is no water in his cell. When inmates are written up for breaking the rules, they are sent to inmate court, which is held in a room in the corner of Cypress unit. One day, our class files into the small room to watch the hearings. Miss Lawson, the assistant chief of security, is acting as the judge, sitting at a desk in front of a mural of the scales of justice. This is not a court of law, although it issues punishments for felonies such as assault and attempted murder. An inmate who stabs another may end up facing new criminal charges.
He may be transferred, yet prisoners and guards say inmates who stab others typically are not shipped to a higher-security prison. According to the DOC, Winn inmates charged with serious rule violations are found guilty at least 96 percent of the time. The inmate counsel represents other inmates in the internal disciplinary process. Every year, he is taken to a state-run prison for intensive training. Miss Lawson later tells me that inmate counsel never really influences her decisions.
The absent inmate is accused of coming too close to the main entrance. Trahan is found guilty. He is being considered for release from segregation. What did he say? The next inmate, an orderly in Cypress, enters. He is charged with being in an unauthorized area because he took a broom to sweep the tier during rec time, which is not the authorized time to sweep the tier. He starts to explain that a CO gave him permission. Miss Lawson cuts him off. Fuck them!
The majority of the staff, Miss Blanchard says, are gold—dutiful, punctual people who value rules. My results show that green is my dominant color analytical, curious and orange is my secondary free and spontaneous. Green is a rare personality type at Winn. The company that markets the test claims that people who retake it get the same results 94 percent of the time. But Miss Blanchard says that after working here awhile, people often find their colors have shifted. Gold traits tend to become more dominant. Studies have shown that personalities can change dramatically when people find themselves in prison environments.
Some became sadistic, forcing the prisoners to sleep on concrete, sing and dance, defecate into buckets, and strip naked. The situation became so extreme that the two-week study was cut short after just six days. The question the study posed still lingers: Are the soldiers of Abu Ghraib, or even Auschwitz guards and ISIS hostage-takers, inherently different from you and me?
One day during our third week of training I am assigned to work in the chow hall. My job is to tell the inmates where to sit, filling up one row of tables at a time. We just learned that in class. Inmates file through the chow line and I point them to their tables. One man sits at the table next to the one I directed him to. The supervisor is watching. Hundreds of inmates can see me.
I get the muscle-bound captain, who comes and tells the inmate to do what I say. The inmate gets up and sits at a third table. Project confidence. Project power. I tell inmates to take off their hats as they enter. They listen to me, and a part of me likes that. For the first time, for just a moment, I forget that I am a journalist. I watch for guys sitting with their friends rather than where they are told to.
I scan the room for people sneaking back in line for more food. I tell inmates to get up and leave while they are still eating. I look closely to make sure no one has an extra cup of Kool-Aid. Out in the back of the prison, not far from where Chase Cortez hopped the fence, there is a barn. Miss Blanchard, another cadet, and I step inside the barn office. Country music is playing on the radio. Halters, leashes, and horseshoes hang on the walls.
Three heavyset white COs are inside. They do not like surprise visits. One spits into a garbage can. The men and their inmate trusties take care of a small herd of horses and three packs of bloodhounds. The COs used to mount them with shotguns and oversee hundreds of inmates who left the compound every day to tend the grounds. The shotguns had to be put to use when, occasionally, an inmate tried to run for it.
We can always get another inmate, though. Prisoners and officers alike talk nostalgically about the time when the men spent their days working outside, coming back to their dorms drained of restless energy and aggression. The work program was dropped around the same time that guards were taken out of the towers. Many vocational programs at Winn have been axed. The hobby shops have become storage units; access to the law library is limited.
We did! Do it the right way. When we step inside the kennel, the bloodhounds bay and howl. Gary kicks the door of one cage and a dog lunges at his foot. There is a red hole under his chin and a gash down his throat. He might walk back here two miles. He holds up the picture of the guy with the throat bite. We are standing around outside; most cadets are smoking cigarettes.
He wears a baseball cap low over his eyes. We got something-plus facilities. If they not making no money at Winn Correctional Center, guess what? Kenny is detached and cool. There are rules, and they are meant to be followed. This goes both ways: When he has any say, he makes sure inmates get what they are entitled to. He prides himself on his fairness.
Everyone deserves a chance at redemption. Still, we must never let inmates forget their place. They real educated. Kenny makes me nervous. He notices that I am the only one in class who takes notes. One day, he tells us that he sits on the hiring committee. He then glances at me. I know what your name is. I chuckle nervously. He has to know. I test my staff to test their loyalty.
I report to the warden about what I see. Over Christmas week, I am stationed in the mail room with a couple of other cadets to process the deluge of holiday letters. The woman in charge, Miss Roberts, demonstrates our task: Slice the top of each envelope, cut the back off and throw it in the trash, cut the postage off the front, staple what remains to the letter, and stamp it: Inspected. I presume this is for the same reason we remove stamps; crayon could be a vehicle for drugs.
There are so many letters from children—little hands outlined, little stockings glued to the inside of cards—that we rip out and throw in the trash. I love you and miss you so much daddy, but we are doing good. Rick Jr. He gets into everything. I have not forgot you daddy. I love you. There are also titles on the list about black history and culture, like Huey: Spirit of the Panther ; Faces of Africa ; Message to the Blackman in America , by Elijah Muhammad; and an anthology of news articles called Years of Lynchings.
She is familiar with many of the correspondents from reading about the intimate details of their lives. I feel like a voyeur, but the letters draw me in. I am surprised at how many are from former inmates with lovers still at Winn. Baby my heart is broken and I am so unhappy. In order to get my bed every night I have to check in before 4pm.
After that you lose your bed so the program is designed to keep you homeless. I bet that this is a sad letter. I wish that I had good news. I hate it here everything reminds me of you. I miss u dammit! It terrifies me the thought of ever losing you. I lived. This note and its list of pills haunt me all weekend. What if no one else knows this woman tried to commit suicide? I decide I need to tell Miss Roberts, but when I return to work, I sit in the parking lot and have a hard time summoning the courage.
After I pass through the scanner, I see her. All right. We can go after stories that no one else will, thanks to our donors. Underwrite our reporting with a tax-deductible monthly or one-time gift. We can go after stories that no one else will, thanks to readers like you. Underwrite our reporting with a tax-deductible gift.
After Christmas, we take our final test. It is intimidating. Ninety-two questions ask us about the chain of command, the use-of-force policy, what to do if we are taken hostage, how to spot a suicidal inmate, the proper way to put on leg irons, the color designation for various chemical agents. About a third of the trainees I started with have already quit.
Reynolds is gone. Collinsworth goes to Ash on the night shift. Willis works the night shift too; he will be fired after he leaves the prison suddenly one day and a bunch of cellphones are found at his post. Miss Stirling gets stationed in Birch on the day shift. Two and a half months from now, she will be escorted from the prison for smuggling contraband and writing love letters to an inmate. The captain tells an officer to take me to Elm. We move slowly down the walk.
He spits some tobacco through the fence. Research shows that corrections officers experience above-average rates of job-related stress and burnout. COs commit suicide two and a half times more often than the population at large. They also have shorter life spans. A recent study of Florida prison guards and law enforcement officers found that they die 12 years earlier than the general population; one suggested cause was job-related stress.
The walk is eerily quiet. Crows caw, fog hangs low over the basketball courts. The prison is locked down. Programs have been canceled. With the exception of kitchen workers, none of the inmates can leave their dorms. CCA says Winn was never put on lockdown due to staffing shortages. The unit manager tells me to shadow one of the two floor officers, a burly white Marine veteran. His name is Jefferson, and as we walk the floor an inmate asks him what the lockdown is about.
The first two words out of my mouth: pay raise. If the captain rejects it, they can appeal to the warden. If the warden rejects it, they can appeal to the Department of Corrections. I do a couple of laps around the unit floor and then see Jefferson leaning against the threshold of an open tier door, chatting with a prisoner. I walk over to them. You seen what the sign say when you first come in the gate?
There is a pause. Jefferson titters. What they do after the lights are out? The unit manager is a black woman who is so large she has trouble walking. She is brought in every morning in a wheelchair pushed by an inmate. Her name is Miss Price, but inmates call her The Dragon. Prisoners relate to her like an overbearing mother, afraid to anger her and eager to win her affection. She got out of her wheelchair, grabbed him by the neck, threw him up against the wall.
In the middle of the morning, Miss Price tells us to shake down the common areas. I follow one of the two COs into a tier and we do perfunctory searches of the TV room and tables, feeling under the ledges, flipping through a few books. I bend over and feel around under a water fountain.
My hand lands on something loose. I get on my knees to look. My job, of course, is to take it, but by now I know that being a guard is only partially about enforcing the rules. A prisoner is watching me. If I leave the phone, everyone on the tier will know. But if I take it, I will show my superiors I am doing my job. I will alleviate some of the suspicion they have of every new hire. Two and a half are gonna be dirty. Miss Price is thrilled. The captain calls the unit to congratulate me. When I do count later, each inmate on that tier stares at me with his meanest look.
Some step toward me threateningly as I pass. He smiles. When you start working those hour shifts, you will see. He racks the balls on the pool table and tells me about a nurse who gave a penicillin shot to an inmate who was allergic to the medicine and died. They had to airlift him out of there. He breaks and sinks a stripe. On my first official day as a CO, I am stationed on suicide watch in Cypress. In the entire prison of more than 1, inmates, there are no full-time psychiatrists and just one full-time social worker: Miss Carter.
In class, she told us that a third of the inmates have mental health problems, 10 percent have severe mental health issues, and roughly a quarter have IQs under She said most prison mental health departments in Louisiana have at least three full-time social workers. Angola has at least Here, there are few options for inmates with mental health needs. They can try to get an appointment with the part-time psychiatrist or the part-time psychologist, who are spread even thinner. Another option is to ask for suicide watch. A CO sits across from the two official suicide watch cells, which are small and dimly lit and have plexiglass over the front.
My job is to sit across from two regular segregation cells being used for suicide watch overflow, observe the two inmates inside, and log their behavior every 15 minutes. And truth be known, we do pencil-whip it. Add by That looks pretty come audit time. Other than the blanket, he is naked, his bare feet on the concrete. There is nothing else allowed in his cell other than some toilet paper. No books.
Nothing to occupy his mind. They also get worse food. Nowhere else does a single guard oversee one or two inmates. If more than two inmates are on constant watch for more than 48 hours, the prison has to ask the regional corporate office for permission to continue, Miss Carter tells us. CCA says this is inaccurate. Sometimes the regional office says no, she says, and the prisoners are put back on the tiers or in seg. I look over to the cell to the right and see Skeen sitting on his metal bed, staring at me and masturbating under his suicide blanket. He starts singing and dancing in his cell.
I have about a hundred write-ups. Someone down the tier calls for me. He has a wild look in his eyes and he speaks intensely, but quietly. With four inmates on suicide watch, we are already over capacity. I get off the bed, jump off that mothafucker headfirst. When I tell the key officer, she rolls her eyes. The CO sitting directly across from him twiddles his thumbs and gazes ahead blankly. In the neighboring cell, Skeen is staring at me, completely naked, masturbating vigorously.
I tell him to stop. He gets up, comes to the bars, and strokes himself five feet in front of me. For an hour, I stare at a cup on the floor and study the blotches in the concrete. A few hours later, a SORT officer walks a cuffed man onto the tier. He was pepper-sprayed after punching my old instructor Kenny in the face as Kenny sat in his office doing paperwork. Kenny is gone for days, recovering from his busted nose. The message his assailant sent was clear: Keep your hands off our phones.
Now I work there, on the floor, almost every day. I immediately try to smooth over the phone thing with the inmates. In some units and on some shifts, the pairing of floor officers changes day to day, but for whatever reason Bacle and I become a regular pair. He has allowed me to use his real name. One inmate asks him for his Social Security number every day just to set him off. But he hates the company too. He counts the days until his Social Security kicks in and he no longer needs to work here to supplement his retirement checks from the Coast Guard.
Every day, I come to know him more and more. He is a reader of old westerns and an aficionado of Civil War reenactments. Once, he bought her a handmade saddle for her toy unicorns. We are still fat, dumb, and happy over it! Bacle becomes a teacher of sorts. Mostly, he is referring to the orderlies, the prisoners selected for special roles inside each unit.
Without the orderlies, the prison would not function. Each unit has a key orderly, whose job is to keep the key clean and pack up the property of any prisoner sent to seg. Fur Coat No Knickers. Ack M Price. Fall Down Go Boom. Hospital accident and emergency notes acronym often referring to a patient's injuries caused by alcohol abuse.
Forget Everything And Run. The acronym explains what happens when the fear response takes over, and the primative brain switches to auto-pilot. Great for presentations training and 'training the trainer', to emphasise why nobody ever does anything really well under extreme stress except shut down. There are fruitier interpretations of the word Forget of course.
Find 'em, Feel 'em, Fondle'em, and Forget 'em. This expression is in this listing for historical reference only and is not recommended for use anywhere. In its day the expression was of course gender specific but now in this age of gender equality is not necessarily so. Ack G Day. Forget It and Drive On. An acronym made popular by motivational writer and speaker Zig Ziglar.
Dwelling on past disappointments or seeking revenge is self-destructive. It's far better to concentrate effort on the next challenge.
Fart In A Trance. Every organization has a person who seems to be perpetually in FIAT mode. Most of us experience being in this state at least a couple of times a week, especially Mondays after heavy weekend, or while captive in corporate presentations or boring training sessions. Alternative to MEGO. Ack Tony Lomas. First In First Out. Originally an accounting term, to provide a convention for writing down the balance sheet value of assets of the same type. Applies to any situation where the oldest go first and the newest stay longest, but a perilous policy in terms of staff.
First In Last Out. Again originally an accounting term for depreciation practice, whereby the oldest assets are the last to be written off. The term has wider applications, particularly rock festival car parks, overcrowded tube trains and airport buses. Before handover of Hong-Kong by the UK to China in , this acronym sardonically reflected the treatment by certain multi-national employers of under-performing or out-of-favour staff.
Superb acronym, with Australian origins apparently, for show-offs and big-heads everywhere. Ideal code for referring to person or behaviour when someone holds a very high opinion of themselves, through self-delusion, arrogance, or because they happen to be held in unreasonably high esteem by a superior.
French, Italian, German, Spanish. Shorthand used by some in considering or targeting the traditional four main languages of the European market and the demographics and communications variations required to address it. Fanatical, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. Alternative ironic acronym response thanks D Jenkins to the universal question, "How are you?.. People commonly respond to the question, "How are you?
Find Inform Restrict Extinguish. One of those wonderful acronyms in which the new word actually relates to the subject; this one for student fire-fighters, and anybody else for that matter, since it represents the essential rules and process of dealing with fires.
Ack JH. Forget It, Stuff Happens. I'm Staying Here , the polite version of a ruder Royal Navy expression, and no doubt said elsewhere too at times of pressure or threat thanks P Burns. Army infantry acronym for urban warfare. First In Stays There. Financial and stock-holding term, describing the practice of not rotating the stock, so that the first pieces of stock stay in stock and 'on the books' for ever.
Ack J Taylor. Fecked In The Head. Marginally more polite version than the common form. One of many no-nonsense nurses' acronyms to describe a patient's condition in terms that fall some way short of being politically correct. Ack Charli. Four Letter Acronym. Arguable contradiction in terms, and companion acronym for TLA. Funny Looking Kid.
Used by medical and healthcare folk to describe an infant or newborn whose looks are unlikely to provide a passport to fame and fortune. Perhaps aside from dark humour at work this is a manifestation of some sort of envy, given that 'funny looking kids' often grow to be some of the loveliest people you could ever wish to meet.
Where we fear and ridicule funny looking people, deep down perhaps we see in them a strength and resolve that normal looking folk don't possess, because we've never had to. Ever read Mary Shelly's Frankenstein? See above. Ack S Pennington. Answers on a postcard please Flotus is very close to the word 'Flatus', which refers to the gas passed in flatulence Fat Little Ugly Fellow. Normally the word 'fellow' would be substituted. For a short boss with Napoleonic syndrome.
Ack D Harrison. Fast Moving Consumer Goods. An acronym that lots of people have heard and don't know what it means. FMCG typically describes products and the entire industry behind these products that supermarkets and other big stores, and increasingly online retailers, sell in big volumes, at relatively low profit margins, to domestic consumers. FMCG traditionally referred to foods and groceries, household consumables, small electricals, inexpensive toys and games, but the abbreviation extends more recently in this worryingly increasingly disposable age to clothes, books, kitchenware, fabrics and textiles, even furniture, and before long no doubt, to phones, TVs, computers, and all sorts of other products which people buy and consume, or discard very quickly, often because the product has broken or become obsolete, or is no longer compatible.
Flipping Nearly Died. Polite version of healthcare term, transferrable to descriptions of any traumatic aftermath, eg, sales conferences involving overnight stays and obliging night porters; excessive outward bound courses; car journeys with the firm's worst driver, etc. A Carr. Flipping New Guy. Increasingly common acronym for the new recruit, especially in certain institutional environments armed forces, police, etc where new people stick out more prominently than the seasoned staff. Less relevant in organisations with a quicker staff turnover where the majority of the workforce can be FNG's.
First Of A Kind. An acronym to illustrate the development or attainment of uniqueness, relevant to developing sales and business propositions, USP's and value-added offerings. The FOB expression originates from the meaning that the buyer is free of liability up to the point that the goods are loaded on board the ship. When language doesn't make obvious sense people are apt to change it. If you use or hear the term used in a shipping context it's sensible to clarify precise meaning. More explanation about FOB in the financial terms section.
Frequently Outwitted By Inanimate Objects. Ideal for anyone struggling with one of those ridiculous picnic tables, flat-pack self-assembly furniture, crisis situations caused by errant cars, computers, mobile phones, and the ultimate FOBIO challenge - removing the cellophane from a new CD. Training and presentations acronym to emphasise that vision is essential for creating unique solutions and development. Ack PL. Feck Off and Find Out. Regrettably there is no easy polite alternative to the F Off term. One of the great training and management acronyms, it emphasises the opportunity or requirement for people to find answers themselves rather than be spoon-fed, which achieves little.
Generally the process of development is much strengthened using FOFO principles wherever possible. FOFO: Ack. Neal Stothard. Fall On Out-Stretched Hand. Medical acronym describing cause of injury to hand, wrist, etc. Thanks B Villona. Focus On Reducing Costs Everywhere. From USA industry. An acronym that can be applied anywhere. Perhaps not the most progressive strategy ever invented, but sometimes necessary and helpful, provided the cost-cutting does not prevent activities that would otherwise bring good and fast returns on investment, and also provided that the long-term well-being of operations and people are not sacrificed.
Ack P Lock. Found On Roadside, Dead. A quick explanation for not pursuing the non-viable. An excellent reminder of the need to invest one's time productively. Ack T Day.
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Fornicates Regularly And Chain Smokes. ODSA The polite version is arguably better than the rude one. Nurses and doctors acronym for covert patients notes. Ack L Speden. Flipping Ridiculous Electronic Device. An increasingly popular acronym that many people now use to describe a computer or other gadget causing frustration or technical difficulty for the user.
Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition. Polie version. Ack E Thomas and the many others. Fouled Up Beyond Belief. An old acronym that is just as useful today as when first devised. Probably originated in the 2nd World War. Apparently this was initially a Royal Navy acronym bacronym to describe 'elbow grease' and a reminder that physical effort generally produces the best results of all, irrespective of modern technology.
The meaning behind this wonderful acronym is supported by the following story thanks N Spargo : Apparently just before the Second World War, the British armed forces adopted new webbing, the belt and harness to carry ammunition, water bottle, bayonet, etc. The new webbing was made of heavy canvas khaki for the Army, blue-grey for the Air Force, white for the Navy , with numerous brass buckles and strap tabs.
Of course the webbing had to be kept clean and bright, for which sailors were issued Blanco whitening and Brasso brass polish. Early examples of the new webbing were particularly difficult to clean, whereupon official instruction from the old Chief Petty Officers was to use plenty of 'elbow grease', given that this was the 'Finest Universal Cleaner Known'.
The sailors soon recognised the significance of the initials and developed a typical piece of folk wisdom: "If Blanco don't whiten it and Brasso don't brighten it then FUCK it.. Failed Under Continuous Testing. In other words, broken. One of the all-time great acronyms, and nothing rude about it at all, surely.
Used especially by technical people in the entertainment industry and deserves usage and recognition on a global scale. Arguably both are reverse acronyms, however you can't argue with them being very funny and elegantly succinct. In addition to the acronym itself, a particularly amusing example of usage was sent to me thanks P Giles : 'F U C T U P' written one letter each across the six broken channels of a lighting control desk. Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. Acronym from the marketing world, in which propositions leveraged by FUD create additional motivation for the target audience to buy or act - for example Y2K computer scare stories, various types of insurance, extended warranties and guarantees, security and surveillance offerings; typically most preventative products and services.
Thanks M Adamson. FUGAZI is potentially transferable to other disasters resulting from poor preparation and over-confidence, eg. FUGAZI was a Marillion album title they knew what it meant apparently, and is also a band who didn't know what it meant - apparently. Feck You Jack I'm Alright. Marginally polite version. A fruity old acronym that's not a precise abbreviation, instead partly a clever phonetic structure in which the 'IYAM' element equates to the words I am, or 'I'm.
The expression is from the rank and file soldiers of the 2nd World War, notably and almost certainly originating in the Pacific war zones. Interestingly this acronym also provided the origin of the more recent expression and humourous boast, at the expense of a lumbered mate: 'I'm alright Jack', which of course means the same as the full orignal FUJIYAMA version. Now this one looks like it's going to be packed full of swear words, but strangely it's not.
A motto for self-reliance and taking personal responsibility. The quest for empowered people in organisations cuts both ways - the organisation needs to give people more freedom, and people need to take responsibility for finding their own answers and solutions. It's a reminder that we all need to seek our own answers rather than rely on 'received wisdom' or someone else's solution that might well be overdue for improvement.
Generally Accepted Accounting Principles. To non-accountants this may seem a contradiction in terms. Generally Accepted Auditing Standards. Perhaps only marginally less contradictory than GAAP, but they do exist, honestly. Amusing if slightly insulting and ironically, envious reference to the modern generation of young people who need and can effectively absorb information, learning, entertainment, advertising, etc.
Previous generations X, Y, Baby-boomers for example were brought up reading whole books, writing memos, and attending meetings, so their brains tend to be less well-tuned to the dramatically abbreviated communications and speed of life which characterise the blackberryfacespace age. GADD people even have their own language - largely free of vowels, punctuation, capital letters, etc - which older people criticise, but this is exactly how life and society changes.
Each successive generation becomes quicker and more efficient at sending and receiving information, and this also extends to entertainment and leisure activities. To older people this faster lifstyle seems like laziness or carelessness, but in fact it is more a reflection of the progressive sharpening of human brainpower. Interestingly, genius minds of any generation have very low spans of attention: a sharp mind grasps a concept extremely quickly, becomes bored very quickly, and naturally seeks alternative stimulus if the present issue starts to drag. Despite what we might read about the worsening standards of education, young people are very sharp indeed.
Civilisation advances proportionately to knowledge transfer and human collaboration. Quick brains facilitate this, therefore so-called 'attention deficit disorder' among youngsters is a healthy indication that civilisation continues to progress, which is gr8. Reference to a person or group exhibiting encouraging signs of understanding and capability, and then failing to act or respond due to some sort of serious and usually permanent malfunction. God Alone Knows. Originally British First World War doctor's shorthand on a traumatised soldier's medical report for shell-shock or other nervous disorder this prior to any official recognition of nervous condition resulting from months or years active service under fire and bombardment.
Nowadays GAK serves as an incredulous reponse to any unfathomable question. See also NYDN. Group Against Smokers Pollution. Going the Extra Mile. GEM is a very memorable, neat and powerful acronym for all sorts of situations relating to effort, quality, commitment, motivation, development, design, creativity, selling, customer service, leading, inspiring, teaching - in fact any activity, responsibility, project or task which benefits from extra thought, enthusiasm and energy, to produce an effect beyond usual expectations or standards.
GEM appears in themes and promotional messages for a variety of situations because it's an elegant impactful statement underpinned by a very potent concept - that of always striving to do better - to 'over-deliver' and to exceed expectations, in the very correct belief that doing so will produce great outcomes for the giver and receiver; supplier and customer.
GEM is especially relevant for beating competition and delighting customers. It's also a wonderful maxim for building self-esteem, integrity, respect, credibility, reputation and positive human relationships. GEM is actually an attitude for life as a whole: if a job is worth doing then it's worth doing in the best way you can. GEM people are noticed and remembered; they become trusted and valued, and accordingly, GEM, simple though it seems, is a wonderful life-code.
Garbage In Garbage Out. Originated as a computer metaphor but deserves a much wider exposure. Use freely for any situation at all that involves effort and output esp. Good Looking Mum. Healthcare industry shorthand. Less earthy and somewhat more detached than the MILF alternative. Garbage Made Carefully. A wonderful example of industrial warfare by acronym no offence intended.
Godt Mitt You. God be with you The only Anglo-German hybrid abbreviation I know, used today as a sign-off in certain naval communications, notably still among Swedish vessels. Some believe its origin dates from the 2nd World War, when the message was sent between British and German enemy submarines operating in surface mode, when traditionally they would not engage, other than to communicate their mutual respect through this expression. Ack Robert Stael Von Holstein Others possible origins are suggested: That GMY was a greeting between German Wolfpack submarines during WWII who used the mixture of German and English words to confuse the allies; it was a traditional greeting between commercial ships; it stems from old unofficial telegraph code; is was an invention of a Swedish naval officer.
Ack Pieter Kuiper. Greatest Of All Time. An acronym from the sporting commentators' book of superlatives, and transferable to all. Everyone can be GOAT at what they do and who they are. General Body Crumble. ODSA Healthcare acronym to describe an elderly person with no specific diagnosis, but just generally deteriorating. Government Owned, Contractor Operated.
An admission by government that they have the expertise to run the country supposedly but not anything as practical as a hot-dog stall. Genial Old Farts Enjoying Retirement. Super demographics acronym, allegedly originally seen on the back of a caravan touring Australia; now much used at retirement parties. Ack LA. God Only Knows.
Such patients not infrequently later had an ERCP. Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden. For chauvinists everywhere. Especially at the golf club. Ack C Judd. Get Out of My Emergency Room. Goals, Objectives, Strategies, Plans, Activities. A simple blueprint and order of thinking for business planning of any sort, even for large complex challenges and entire businesses.
Thanks Chris Starke. Any connection is purely coincidental, as the saying goes. The acronym seems to have originated in the US military. Thanks M Grasso. Good for Parts Only. Not the most optimistic diagnosis. Also thanks J Fobian used in similar deathly fashion in the automotive industry. Three little letters Graduate s Renting, Employed, No Deposit. Group, Range, Indication, Type of fire. In the military, the acronym teaches and reminds how to give fire control orders, but the key points relate with a little adaptation to all sorts of engagements with a 'target' audience:.
Use with care if you must use is at all, and whilst not necessarily recommended, there is a potential application for explaining the more technical aspects of customer profiling. Goals, Reality, Options, Will. A maxim from the life-coaching industry, which makes a lot of sense, and is relevant to any situation that requires realistic objectives to be established, and then the planning and determination to achieve them. Grotesque, Unbelievable, Bizarre, and Unprecedented. Ack S Doherty. Goes When Ready. As such GWR is a novel way to describe or present a personality or system which cannot be moved or changed without suitable preparation and patience.
GWR people tend to be process and detail oriented. GWR situations tend to be big complex systems or networks large old organizations and institutions with lots of entrenched practices and attitudes. Obvious examples of HAHO misadventures are military interventions in far away territories, government interference in local services education, health, policing, etc , and corporate takeovers motivated for the enrichment of the predators. Checklist system popular in private pilot licence training for stall recovery and also used prior to aerobatics.
Human Capital Management. Arguably the same as HRM Human Resources Management , although many especially in the HCM field would disagree, pointing to various 'new' HCM components linked to such terms as 'new economy', but which strictly speaking could be covered simply by a modern view of HRM. If are studying modern HR practices and methods then again you will tend to find such ideas being presented under the HCM heading.
But don't be kidded that the label itself changes anything. The use of a new title doesn't automatically ensure a successful initiative or implementation. On a more specific point, you will see the word 'Reporting' commonly appended to the Human Capital term, which indicates the additional emphasis on analysis and accountability that perhaps most distinguishes HCM from the traditional HRM in practice, although there is nothing to prevent well run Human Resources activities enabling and generating just the same reporting needs and outputs.
What these things are called is not the issue - it's what actually goes on that matters. Cynics would say that HCM is not so much a different field, it's more a different way to sell more services, books, training, and the like. The HCM term has arisen in recent years, as new buzzwords and abbreviations tend to, when sufficient people embrace the idea that a new approach is warranted or opportune, in which case a new brand or packaging usually happens. How long the HCM expression lasts, and the notion that it is very different really from modern Human Resources Management, remains to be seen.
As ever, it's not the label, but the precise definition and practice that counts. High Earning Worker. Honesty, Integrity, Plain-dealing. The UK House of Commons i. Diamond didn't know them. Assuming the stated principles are indeed the founding ethos of Barclays Bank established by quaker John Freame and Thomas Gould, in London, then obviously Diamond should have known them.
Incidentally Diamond resigned from his post as CEO the day before appearing in front of the committee. HIPs lasted a few short years before the legislation was put into reverse and information requirements were greatly reduced. This is a term for a product which requires a high amount of thought by the customer before purchase, such as cars, holidays, pension plans, houses, etc.
Hair Is Vanishing. Text messaging ain't got nothing on it Another poignant demographics acronym. Could be a great name for the next governement initiative on pensions Human Remains. Hope This Helps. Email abbreviation when replying to requests. Potentially counter-productive if the recipient doesn't understand what it means Hyper-Text Transfer Protocol.
Destined to become one of those abbreviations which nobody knows the origin of in thirty years time, and here mainly lest we forget. How To Make Love. Alternative created and contributed by writer by S McCarthy, thanks. Not a good place for one's head to be and arguably a lot worse than up in the clouds. Ack P Farrant. It's About Me Stupid. Elegant and wonderful acronym for many and various situations, especially explaining and understanding human relationships and communications.
A great reference point for explaining the 'emotional contract' and the false notion that people will do what you say just because you tell them so. Informal disclaimer, usually followed by "but Thanks D Rudloff. I Blame Microsoft. A 'backronym' with different applications, aside from having a dig at MS, for example to highlight where a person finds it difficult to accept responsibility for their own actions, or more usually, inactivity.
Ack to Dr Neale Roney. In Case of A Balls Up. A wonderfully funny, memorable, and very meaningful acronym for project management and all kinds of planning or forward-thinking activities. Origins uncertain. No doubt someone will tell me if they know. Thanks J Hudson. In Case of Emergency. While the acronym has had this meaning for a while, in recent times the termonology has assumed additional significance: apparently modern practice is increasingly to identify a special 'ICE number' within one's mobile telephone 'phone book' listing, so that in case of suffering a debilitating accident or emergency, a person assisting anyone in their moment of need is able immediately to contact the nominated friend, spouse, parent, etc.
Ack D Kugler. Not an acronym obviously but worthy of inclusion. The 'ID Ten T' code has been used by technical service people for years, and probably explains very well a large proportion of user-reported faults and queries. Identify, Design, Execute, Augment. Process for changing anything. Identify the issues, priorities, constraints, resources; Design the plan; Execute the plan; Augment, refine, adjust and improve activies to consolidate change.
Dean Whitehead. Identify, Define, Explore, Action, Lookback. Investors In People. The UK system of human resources quality and development accreditation system. Just About Managing.
Most commonly referring to a demographic group of people and families whose earnings hardly allow a standard of living above poverty, that is 'poverty' according modern western definitions and standards. JAM and 'just about managing' might also be applied to any individual or situation where the main focus and peak achievement is survival or averting complete disaster. Not a lot of people know that. Thanks SJ for the spelling correction. Mantra for self-determination and reinforcing self-confidence. Thanks B Heyn. Variation on the above theme. The procrastinator's motto. Instead: sit down, think, write down some ideas or aims, and then you will get good results.
Identify, Manage, Change, Improve, Show. Acknowledgments to John Oakland. In My Humble Opinion. We don't list many acronyms and abbreviations used in web-messaging, emails and texting, etc, because there are millions of them and other sites do it better; however the IMHO acronym has a certain resonance for life and communications generally, and it's been around for ages, so it is worthy of inclusion here. Thanks DH. In-Service Education and Training. On-the-job training in other words, just sounds a bit more technical.
For all those executives who haven't got a clue what's really going on in their companies, and think that a quick stroll among the workers will boost morale and uncover some great idea how to save or make the next million. Ack Tom Calvert. Intellectual Property.
Immigrant Issues and Controversial Book Discussed – Iceland Review
A common term meaning copyrighted or trademarked or otherwise protected work, owned by the originator unless sold or transferred. Most international law recognises the originator's rights in any type of original work or idea - in whatever media. If you doodle on a napkin or take a photo or write a poem this is all automatically your intellectual property.
If you write a book or a play or a training programme or you design a better mousetrap, this would all automatically be your intellectual property unless of course it replicates intellectual property already belonging to someone else. IP is a widely used abbreviation referring to any work of original creation. It's a complex area however. Many employers quite reasonably insist that any IP developed by their employees relating to their paid employment automatically belongs to the employer since the employer has paid for it.
Some employers seek to extend this to employees' ideas and creations that are not related to the work, which is less reasonable. For more detail relating to IP issues attached to important or potentially significant personal or organisational liabilities, licensing, etc. A less than ideal customer service process for dealing with complaints and dissatisfied customers - widely exhibited, especially by large organizations in the finance, insurance and telecoms sectors. The acronym is useful to remind all exponents of poor customer service how not to do it Identify, Predict, Decide, Execute.
Long-established mnemonic thanks P Goldstein, recalling this from s USA for risk analysis and responsive action. The acronym strictly it's an abbreviation is widely used in vehicle driving training and offers a very specific process-based method for all sorts of situations where chaotic circumstances can produce risks requiring reactive decisions and actions: Identify and analyze a situation; predict possibilities and risks arising; decide appropriate response or action; then execute or apply action.
I welcome suggestions as to the origins of the IPDE framework. Initial Public Offering. A stock exchange term and acronym widely preferred instead of the full term by media and corporate folk, referring to the first 'Initial' sale 'Offering' of privately owned equity stock or shares in a company, though the issue of shares to the public and other investing institutions 'Public'. While an IPO is technically the first sale of stock by a private company to the general public, in some cases the sale is effectively exclusively to investing institutions, such as pension funds and banks.
Sometimes it's good that the general public are denied the opportunity to acquire lots of shares in IPOs because the risks are big and often the launch turns out to be a big loss for investors. While IPOs are most commonly small young companies raising capital to finance growth, IPOs can also be very big indeed, such as recently established technology corporations like Google and Facebook.
IPOs are risky for investors as it is especially difficult to predict the value of the stock or shares in a relatively unknown company when they open for trading and in the short-term thereafter. An IPO equates to the expressions 'going public' or 'taking a company public'.
“If you can read this sentence, I can prove God exists”
It is not unusual for IPOs to fail to attract buyers for all the stock available, in which case the bank underwriting the offering is left with the stock. Setting the IPO share price is a tricky challenge for the company offering itself for sale, as is the assessment of the attraction of the investment by investors, since both are hugely influenced by demand, in turn driven by PR hype and often highly debatable interpretations of market conditions and future performance of company.
I wonder if an acronym ever had a more serious fundamental meaning than this one? Full convergence between computers and TV is fast approaching, and its effects will be wide and deep.
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Nick Negroponte saw something like this coming nearly twenty years ago they called it the 'Negroponti Switch'. Now it's almost upon us, bigger and scarier than he ever imagined. Just as VOIP Voice Over Internet Protocol is revolutionizing the phone and mobile communications markets, so TV over the web will do the same for TV, and the incredible implications of combining unlimited on-demand content, a high-speed virtually free internet, and mobile communications.
Look out especially for Joost, being pioneered by Zennstrom and Friis, who have already succeeded with two sector-rattling developments - Kazaa and Skype - now safely launched and divested. Other modern age entrepreneurs are now emerging alongside Joost to challenge the traditional 'old economy' media giants, who will all have their work cut out to keep pace with their quicker more efficient rivals in the battle for a share in this unimaginably dynamic market.
If you want to try imagining the possibilities, consider combining all types of TV and video content, computer games, virtual reality, web 2. And that's just for starters I'd Rather Be In Ambridge. You've seen people with that 'IRBIA' look on their face, when the real world is getting to be too much.
When they'd rather be somewhere else, far away from the pressures of a particularly tedious meeting or training course.
Related The Not-quite-frozen Lake Of Tender Hurt (Sleeping With Boys Book 3)
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